The Joys of Children

Last week, Cameron Diaz made the news by telling Parade Magazine the following:

“I have an unbelievable life. In some ways, I have the life that I have because I don’t have children,”

Well, not that we should be too surprised by yet another Hollywood socialite acting selfishly, but I think Cameron is missing the point entirely! No offense to the Diaz fans, but as a parent, I have an unbelievable life BECAUSE I have children. All parents know about the basic joys...dirty diapers, crying in the middle of the night, etc. (and, so I'm told, kids will eventually outgrow these things...unlike dogs, who remain in a state like un-potty-trained children their whole lives). I want to share just a few of the many joys of parenthood that I encountered just today:

Exhibit A:

This is what our kitchen table looks like right now (no, it's not that way so the janitor can sweep under the table...this is not your elementary school):

The chairs now live on top of the table, because, if we leave them down for even five minutes, this is what happens:


So, while our cute baby child practices transforming herself into Sir Edmund Hillary, my wife and I thought it would be best if we kept her marginally safe. She's a good climber...not a great climber, so we're not going to risk her slipping off the top rung of the chair and dashing her head on the tile.

Exhibit B:

A few days ago, I took the ice chest out in the back yard to clean it and let it dry. When I came back, this is what I found:

The ice chest has been transformed into a treasure chest, with all of the precious articles that are important in a boys life. Parents will recognize the Roman breastplate, sword, Spiderman ball, Planet Hero's skateboard...and that little yellow thing is the spray nozzle I've been trying to find for a week now!

Exhibit C:

When I left for work, the side of the bed looked like this:
When I got home, it looked like this (and this is after my dear wife spent an hour cleaning our room):

Exhibit D:

All parents who are worth their salt will recognize this little guy. He's the 2 inch plastic (hard plastic) toy alien from Toy Story...incidentally, the other really great thing about being a parent is knowing every word to every Disney-Pixar and DreamWorks movie ever produced. Remember this guy? Here's a hint: "You have been chosen!" Well, this little guy, along with 23 of his identical-twin brothers somehow managed to make their way onto my master bathroom tile floor.

Now, late last night, when it was dark, this little army of cuties was the only thing standing between me and the bathroom...and let me also just say, it is no picnic to step on this little guy in bare feet in the dark in the middle of the night. I think I know how he got there though...


So, what are your favorite joys of children? Leave a mesage, because I have to go now...my child is busy trying to eating a Crayola marker...and I think I have to change a poopy diaper.